• How would you define falling into manholes?
  1. A road construction mishap
  2. Jumping headfirst into relationships and getting lost in the dark
  3. Exploring the dark murky underbelly of your subconscious
  4. Doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results
  5. Gay sex
  6. All of the above
• Can your personal belief system be described as:
  1. Five pounds away from your goal weight?
  2. One leather jacket away from completion?
  3. Happier with the possibility of a man rather then the man himself?
• Have you ever:
  1. Looked for love in a Ding Dong (Hostess or two-legged)?
  2. Found love in a Ding Dong?
  3. Mistaken Ding Dong love for real love?
• Have you ever knowingly and enthusiastically dated:
  1. A gay man?
  2. Your therapist?
  3. An unemployed, alcoholic, drug-addicted, gambling sex addict?
• Have you ever wished you were:
  1. Shorter/taller?
  2. Thinner/curvier?
  3. “Blonder”/sexier?
  4. Smarter/dumber?
  5. Funnier wealthier happier…..or
  6. Someone else entirely?
• Do you fantasize about:
  1. Having sex?
  2. Having sex while shopping?
  3. Shopping while having sex?
• Have you ever:
  1. Eaten chocolate cake out of the garbage?
  2. Said "I do" when you really meant "I don't?"
  3. Been single, married or divorced?
• Have you ever had:
  1. Deep, meaningful conversations with people who are not present?
  2. Insecurities about sex?
  3. Someone else's life flash before your eyes?

If you didn’t identify with any of these questions, please retake the quiz.

If you saw even a glimpse of yourself, congratulations! You have qualified to read this book!